— Patron Saint of Bridge Burners
"You can bite my nose, but not hard. OK, go ahead."
"I don’t care about the politics, I just like to kill pigs."
— My dad, on Angry Birds
- Rosie: What's a private chef?
- Me: He cooks for celebrities and things like that.
- Rosie: I was thinking like he cooks at home and doesn't tell anyone about it.
"I do all my hiking free-form. Like John Muir, I enter the woods with nothing more than my journal and a childlike sense of wonder."
— Nick Twisp, Youth in Revolt.
- Mum: You say "vag" so casually, like it's a friend, like Marge or something.
- Me: It is your friend.
- Mum: It's not my friend, it's part of my body.
- Me: The friendly part!
"There are only three words for that. They’re easy to say."
— Patricia Kitten Braden, Breakfast On Pluto.
- Mum: Shut up you fucking frog!
- Mum: Like anyone cares what you've got to say, you're just a fucking frog!