"I don’t care about the politics, I just like to kill pigs."
— My dad, on Angry Birds
(Source: coolfunnywhatever, via lacigreen)
Watching MasterChef
- Rosie: What's a private chef?
- Me: He cooks for celebrities and things like that.
- Rosie: I was thinking like he cooks at home and doesn't tell anyone about it.
"I do all my hiking free-form. Like John Muir, I enter the woods with nothing more than my journal and a childlike sense of wonder."
— Nick Twisp, Youth in Revolt.
Vag
- Mum: You say "vag" so casually, like it's a friend, like Marge or something.
- Me: It is your friend.
- Mum: It's not my friend, it's part of my body.
- Me: The friendly part!
"There are only three words for that. They’re easy to say."
— Patricia Kitten Braden, Breakfast On Pluto.
Ribbet
- Mum: Shut up you fucking frog!
- Mum: Like anyone cares what you've got to say, you're just a fucking frog!
Madison watches Homeland
- Madison: oh man
- Madison: shit
- Madison: fuck shit
- Madison: sorry
- Madison: haha
- Me: hahaha
- Me: what happened!
- Madison: I can't tell you
- Madison: shit fuck
- Me: ok
- Madison: THEY KNOW
- Madison: how ambiguous is that?
- Me: very
- Madison: hahaha
