And you, why you wanna stay?
Oh my God!
Have you listened to me lately?
Lately I’ve been fucking crazy!
With all the will in the world
diving for dear life
when we could be diving for pearls
I am surprised people keep asking me to make them party mixes. I will put Elton John on there and I don’t think that’s what you were expecting.
Sometimes I get scared. Sometimes I sit and think about all of the things that I have to do in my life and there are so many things that they crowd my head and I try to recall all of them in order because if I forget something I’ll ruin everything else. I forget things all the time.
Why do I forget the things I have to do? Why do I rush through things because I’m worried about being late and then arrive too early? Why do I always feel like I need more time? What do I need all this time for?
Why does living scare me like this? I get overwhelmed and want to close my eyes and let everything slip away. I want to stop all the feelings rushing in, stop feeling afraid. I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I don’t want to be afraid anymore.
And you have proved to be
a real human being and a real hero.
Hey hey hey, the end is near
On a good day you can see the end from here
But I won’t turn back now, though the way is clear
I will stay for the remainder
I just mentioned this, but I figured it deserved its own post.
Madison Asche of Álfheimr is always in need of money to continue making his beautiful music. At the moment he’s still working on a very slow, unpredictable computer and he also may be in trouble home-wise (as in, there is a possibility he may be homeless and have to move back to his hometown where music uploads will no longer be forthcoming).
If you click the picture, it will take you to Álfheimr’s Bandcamp page where you can download all of his albums and EPs. They are all set to pay-what-you-feel, which means you could get them for free or you could throw some cash his way. Any amount is appreciated and helps him stay alive to continue making some of the most incredible, original and downright special music out there. Yes, this guy is my boyfriend and, yes, that means I’m inclined to tell you how awesome he is anyway — but I don’t joke around with music. I only like what I like and I really like Álfheimr.
Madison’s very skilled over a broad range of genres. For Álfheimr, he goes from post rock to ambience to electronica and breakcore. My favourite album is What Allows Us to Endure, which was on my top ten list of 2011, and my favourite EP is Here, which was a gift for me personally (so, like, duh). And if you’re extra inclined, you could check out his other project called Patron Saint of Bridge Burners which he uses when he records covers and releases his acoustic/indie, lyric-driven stuff. It is also pretty fucking good.
Show your support for struggling independent artists because they really need it. Like Álfheimr on Facebook for updates. He also has all his stuff on gogoyoko where all proceeds made from his music sold there goes to charity. He even chats directly to his fans and offers completely free downloads and extra goodies periodically, so befriending him online is worthwhile. And finally, he’s a really great person and I am in love with him, which is one last good reason to keep him truckin’.
Things
- Work is going pretty well. I didn’t get paid yesterday but apparently none of the new staff get paid till next week, which is kind of sucky. But it’s fine work, I like that it’s short and formulaic and I don’t have to think about it when I’m not there. It’s just something I go to and do for a couple of hours and then go home and I (eventually) get paid for it.
- I have a question about Skyrim. I have bargained my eternal soul to so many Daedric Lords, how do they decide which one I will actually serve when I die? I mean, they’re really going to have to fight it out.
- My Skyrim character is way too fucking cool and wears a bizarre amalgamation of apparel that don’t go well together aesthetically at all. I like to think that this adds to the story of my character, who is a total rogue and just puts on shit she finds in caves, robs from mages or salvages from corpses. Skyrim is still pretty much the best game ever.
- I had McDonald’s for the first time in a long time today. I had a sweet chilli chicken wrap that was probably overpriced. The last time I had Maccas, as Australians say, was in Portland the night I went with Madison to the free clinic. My dress’ strap broke and I had to fasten it with a safety pin. While Madison was in seeing the doctor, I composed a love letter to him on his iPod Touch. When he came out, we went looking for the Fred Meyer’s by the baseball stadium so he could get antibiotics for free. Then we waited for the bus but it took forever so we got cheeseburgers and the bus came while we were eating so we walked back into the city and got on the train.
- Speaking of Madison, Álfheimr could really, really use donations right now. His music is fucking incredible and I’m not just saying that because I’m his girlfriend. I genuinely love the shit out of his music. All of his albums are on Bandcamp as “Pay what you feel.” Head over there and buy one. Here was written especially for me, What Allows Us to Endure is probably a masterpiece, Predatory Nature is too awesome for words and The Intrinsic Light will make you cry.
- I’m anxious for the timetabling thing at RMIT next Tuesday. I really don’t feel like being swamped but it looks like I’ve got upward of 6 different classes/labs/lectures/tutorials to attend, which could clash with working enough hours to actually make a living.
- I’m way behind everyone else in the world, but I finally listened to Adele’s 21 yesterday. Most of it’s not really my thing, but the two main songs ‘Rolling in the Deep’ and ‘Someone Like You’ are good. If only I was on top of things like the rest of the world. Now when I play these songs, everyone else will be like, “Old news.”
- So glad for a day off tomorrow. I am going to sleep in for as long as possible, assuming that god damn fire alarm doesn’t decide to randomly go off at 6am again.
Sweetheart come to me
When I think more than I want to think
I do things I never should do
I drink much more than I ought to drink
because it brings me back you
